Lemon Ginger Tea

The taste of ginger lemon tea, so bitter and yet the only drink that was placed on my tongue.

 We spoke of truth and if there even was or is such a thing. We spoke the same way of good and really what good can good bring. 

An eve met with laughter and banter over the concepts of a childhood classic would numb the senses that are meant to help me make sense. 

After the day is done the lemon is lost and the bitter remains only to be satisfied when the sweetness is regained. It was supposed to be an end in itself, not to require anymore time or effort. The taste remained and the bitterness kept on with all the tastes to come. 

After a fortnight or two we drank again from what was supposed to be an end to itself. Yet still after there is bitterness in my mouth, and a frustration that can not be anything but restless.

 I crave for the sweet yet puncturing taste of ginger lemon tea because for some forsaken reason that taste has become home to me.

Exchange

A distant daydream placed beside reality and the desires of the world

And there you stood, with the harshness of reality and pure desires placed in a subconscious vault.
And there I stood, soul and body submerged in a daydream.

But where we met was somewhere on an unnatural platform of dysfunction

 I surrendered parts of my daydream for the reality which you engrained in every word you spoke to me.
But the parts I had surrendered you shoveled up and mixed in with the desires you fostered in the core of your person.

And so the reality tainted my daydream, and the daydream made your desires perverse

We both cried, for I craved a false reality and you craved purity. Yet neither of these could be restored, nor were they meant to be.

It is a lie to live in a daydream only to be gullible to ideas of what it is that makes the soul glad.

It is a shame that desires never be tested and that the true nature of them never come to light, nor are they to be kept in an innocent delusion.

Passage 1: The Words of the Wind

And so I let the wind whisper in gentle sways of serenity. It spoke to me of freedom and how to move within the world with powerful grace and flowing beauty.

I spent tiresome mornings letting it awaken me with songs it would make through the trees.
And the evenings I would succumb to its great power, standing in its midst and being overwhelmed by the strong glory.
On the days in which my body would betray its own well being, the wind would blow away my tears and caress my hair with gentle fingers.

I let the wind become my mentor, I allowed it to influence my decisions and I granted it permission to become a part of my identity. There were days I was serene and pleasant but others where I was turbulent and catastrophic, and I would say, "But the wind has taught me this and the wind is natural and I, like the wind, want to be natural." And so I let for the hurricanes to be justified by the peaceful days and the wind storms of uncontrolled emotion to be made well in my mind, because I was free and I had power that flowed and beauty that moved within my own mind. Although I was natural, I was mislead, and although I was strong with emotion I was plagued by it's indecision.

And so I whispered to the wind in gentle sways of serenity. I spoke of control and how to let yourself move the world with powerful grace and flowing beauty.

But the wind carried on as it does, naturally.

Magpies and Shiny Things

But I saw them from the rooftop view
I saw them always in search of something new
They collect false ideals and hoard broken dreams
And their sense of commitment is fraying at the seams

And we called them the chosen ones
With minds like we had never seen before
Their intellect was supposed to be their guns
And voices of reason to forbid any war

Ages of history sewn into their conscience

And religion to keep their souls from wanting more
Telling them order and conformity will be their deliverance
But they dismissed it like an unwanted chore

And here we have our youth struggling to hold on
And their motivation is gone
And left searching for whatever pleasure a moment brings
Just like the magpie and shiny things

The Pleasantry of Emotion

The turbulent storm has drifted into a calm

My soul has found peace in the gentle breeze

And my life fits perfectly into my palm

My heart is being carried with such graceful ease

And there is a voice, 

And there is a love

And there is a choice 

And there is something that I am in awe of

It shows itself in the most delicate of ways

It shows itself in comfort and the warmth of coals 

And in the smile that stays on my face for days 

As if it was the orchestration of millions of dancing souls

With the arms of a comfort I had forgotten, I am held

By the sweet songs of the night I am drifted into bliss

By darkness I am no longer compelled 

With the light of day I share a soulful kiss 

This rosy dream engulfs my heart, soul and mind

But it's aroma causes confusion and a forceful bind

It is pleasant and sweet but it takes me as it's own

But little does it know, that I have grown 

The Cycle of the Past

And right now I am somewhere between wanting to die and searching for love
And no matter how I try I can't find the right time or a strike from above
And some days you will find me staring over the edge trying to fall
And some days you will find me amidst the roses and under the sun as if time was in a stall

But I can't decide which one I want more
Or which one would be less of a chore
But I know one of the two would save me once and for all
Or do the opposite and turn me into a lifeless doll

I don't know if love will be able to save me before I decide my fate
But if this is all I can find from this life it might already be too late
I can't seem to find the balance between chaos and sweet dreams
But both options seem like impractical extremes

To search for love and put my sanity on the line
To stop what we call living and try to reach something more divine
But both could solve this delusional state
But at this time I am not willing to negotiate

So I am at a standstill and wondering what to do
Could there be another option, something else I could pursue?
I do not know today, and tomorrow may be the same
I want to know soon before I try to start this game

Uplifted

The simple outstretch of something unfamiliar
is taking my world with such beauty
it is at the very least ironically peculiar
and not a single voice can find a way to disagree

In this place I did not know how to find,
the words or actions to fix the endless gravity in my mind
but from but from the depths of something outta control
it took me by the hand with a mighty hold

I sit here with a mind cleared from the dark
and a spirit lifted with indescribable joy
but it was not from my efforts that it sparked
and it wasn't from my own made up ploy

And for the first time, I can be flooded with laughter
and my heart is almost hurting from all that is right
I only wish I had known before, that the darkness leaves,
 and this what's there after
and for once I know now, I know now that I found light

A Dreadful Encounter

Masked by a sweet bliss

A con under the impression of affection

Poison hid under the smile on your lips 

And for months from this noose I have hung 

The past yells for a second chance

And a tender weeping replies with lost words

My heart begs to take a different stance 

Yet it stays trapped in a cage with the birds 

Oh please, do not exist 

Do not be true
No moments I have missed
And the memories I wish I never knew

It is bitter but not sweet
Not a thing at which I smile
But it mocks me in defeat
The thought is purely vile

Despair of the Unwanted

Despair due to the lack of want

Despair that reminds us of who we are

Despair that seems to always haunt 

Despair that has gone too far

The lack of hope for our own being

A strength that works in an awful way

Wanting to be worth seeing

And not hiding from the light of day

Feeling like who you are is enough

Wanting to be accepted in this space

Everyday just feels so tough 

Always feeling out of place

I want to run free with my self

Let my personality shine 

Spread my happiness with wealth 

And call each day mine

I am trying to, but it is hard

I am trying to take each day as new

But my personality they discard 

And I am left with only but a few 

Those few do bring me light

And it takes away a bit of this night

But I still do not see the light of day 

And hoping for an end, in this place I lay