Go back?

I look at myself now with pride

but I wonder if I deserve to 

my faults are minimal why should I hide

but could it be that my fear of vanity is coming true?

I am new person from who I was a years past

but it seems that maybe I am judging too fast

is this new person better than the one before

Or even more cruel and sore

This new person feels less pain and guilt

While the old one could feel the sorrows of others

This new person has so many walls built 

While the old one never hid under the covers

Yes I feel less pain

And I got rid of those who made me less sane

However I can feel something is not right

Have I lost that inner spark, that touch of light?

The love that other praised me for

The generosity that was not forced

I am feeling more and more

That I am currently taking the wrong course

Maybe it is not bad to feel pain

And perhaps shielding myself is not a gain

Should I go back to my old being

And be one of great feeling?

Let Go, Show and Then Begin

It's that trust that forms
the words that mean so much
when you can feel your heart warm
and that reassurance of touch

It's the letting go
of all your fears and doubts
it is when you are trying to show
what love is all about

Showing the bruises and the scars
that you kept in your heart,
the dreams that make you reach for the stars
and knowing it is the best place to start

Leaving behind all the shame
giving your whole self, not just a part
and knowing it will never be the same
because now they have a piece of your heart

That is when it can begin
without holding anything back
you have given all your beauty and sin
and now there is nothing to lack

Nothing

A lacking of feeling
struck and shot down
with no pain I am dealing
and my heart makes no sound

Not happiness or distress
there is nothing
no emotion no rest
not a single emotion can I bring

Nothing is left but the shell of my being
I am trapped yet feel no fear
and nothing has meaning
is this the end coming near?

But wait, there is one thing left
there is one thing that can make me feel
so give me the chance before I regret
this seems to be the only thing real

Come closer, help me feel again
you are the only one who can save me
and I growing weary from pretend
please just help me see